Thursday, March 22, 2007

help. . .

Oh man, have, um, have dog farts ever damaged anyone? I mean, have there been any studies done on long-term exposure? Can they, you know, burn your lungs, or destroy delicate nasal membrane or anything? I'm just asking. How about some sort of psychotropic effect, like a drug? Brain damage due to lack of oxygen? Is there anything I should know?

Hellooooo? Is there anyone out there. . . out there. . . out there. . .
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7 comments:

Disco Mermaids said...

We had a beagle who would wake himself up with his...outbursts. Then he'd look around at everyone in the room, get up, and leave...as if it was our fault!

- Jay

P.S. Sorry, but I have no answer to your question. But be sure to let us know!

12:13 AM
MoJoKat said...

Trust me, cats do the same thing and BOY! They can seem toxic! I don't know about the long term affects on us humans, though.

Good luck!!!!

6:30 AM
Anonymous said...

Hey Laini,

Yes. Dog farts DO breed creative genius.

We had to leave our basement the other night because someone ate too much peanut butter and enveloped us in a miasmagoric funk.

But upstairs in funk-free air a few hours later I was possessed with a burst of creative energy--I think BECAUSE of inhaling puppy toots.

Jaime

8:56 AM
Anonymous said...

According to emedicinehealth.com, "the offensive smell of flatus comes from trace gasses such as skatole, indole and sulfur-containing compounds." I looked them up on that information super-highway we call "da innernet" and, though they are all respitory irritants, you will probably find that the low concentration of these gases in your home air will not cause such irritation. Or maybe they will...I suppose it depends on the smallness of your space and the largeness of your dog.

You might not know this, but a product called "fartypants" is available and it might be helpful to you. It is an undergarment (made for a human) which holds the gas in and exposes it to a pad of activated charcoal in order to absorb the order. If you can get your dog to wear that, perhaps your problem will be solved. At first glance, a dog wearing "fartypants" seems preposterous. However, consider that the section of doggy clothing at Target has expanded in the past couple years to include an entire aisle. So *somebody's* dog is wearing this stuff. You never know, maybe your dog will think the "fartypants" are comfortable and quite stylish.

:)

9:31 AM
Beaman said...

I agree with mojokat. I don't know about dogs but cats can pump for England. They are sly little creatures too, don't be fooled. They look insultingly at the nearest human as if to place the blame elsewhere.

2:07 PM
Alex S said...

What a WEIRD coincidence! I just read that doggie poots are extremely good for you! They produce seratoneytoe in your brain which allows you to process ideas and information one billion times faster than normally. That most likely explains your ability to write so many words of late. I'm going to get you a special doggiebutt fan that can be strapped onto Leroy's derriere and really disperse the tootwinds even better! You can thank me later Fattypants.

5:55 PM
Tinker said...

OMG - How funny - I just had an echo on my blog earlier this week...Fortunately, no dog farts though! Hope your doggie's stomach has recuperated by now.

12:25 AM

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