Things that are green

Polka dots are green, sometimes, as in the case of this new dress which I purchased at a store that has fake grass for carpeting -- also a thing that is green. I haven't worn the dress yet. It is cold in Portland. It rains. I am waiting patiently to wear my new dress.

Other things that are green include absinthe, mint-chocolate-chip ice cream, leprechauns, vintage glass cake stands that happen to be green, flower stems clutched in a nervous fist, gangrene, moss, and some, but not all, apples. And some, but not all, macaws. Also, my slippers.

I just had a memory of the sickly sweet tropical liquer we American teens drank in the Belgium of my teenhood. It tasted most like bananas, but was vivid vivid green. In recollection: ick. It was called, bizarrely, "Pzang."

Also, on the subject of green and polka-dots, one of the "top models" was wearing my exact green polka-dotted pajamas on the show the week. It was Jael, who I don't hate, even though she talks like she can't be bothered to part her lips. Who I do hate is Renee. She seems like an incredibly miserable human being. Have you ever known one of those people to whom everything is "unfair"? The whole world is a conspiracy against them? That's Renee. A pretty, bitter, miserable girl against the world. But much more important than Renee's misery, is my polka dot simpatico with America's Next Top Model. Last season, they had polka dotted bedspreads that I almost bought. I mean, is that uncanny or what?

Here are some more green things, some of which I've already mentioned. The glared-out label is absinthe purchased a few years ago in Prague.

I had been to Prague previously, say, eleven years ago (before all the menus there were printed in six tourist-friendly languages) and had bought a bottle of absinthe which I had no intention of drinking because, well, absinthe tastes bad. But a "friend" who was over one evening several years ago and browbeat Jim and I into letting him "taste" it. And well, he drank it. A lot of it. And he was really sorry he did. I refilled that bottle with green mouthwash because I really only cared about the bottle anyway. But this, this is the real thing, and no friend will wheedle me out of it. The end.

P.S. Sorry to be weird today (not really). I don't know what came over me. I met my daily word count by 9:30 a.m. Whoosh!!! So I'm going to try to double it. AND make cookies. Have a great weekend, folks!

P.P.S. Any local (Portland OR) readers who might be interested in attending a book party for the fabulous Patry Francis this Sunday, email me.

P.P.S. I just heard that vampire hunters exhumed Slobodan Milosevic's grave and staked him through the heart. What a weird world.