Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I buy stripper shoes


Let me hasten to say, I am not a stripper. It doesn't fall into my skill set. But I buy shoes from a website that sells stripper shoes. 8" spike-heeled red leather thigh boots, etc. I don't buy those, of course, but the less strippery ones, like those above. I just placed an order for those three pairs (the first pair in black, the second in red, the last as shown). The third pair has a 6-1/4-inch heel, which will be my highest to date, surpassing the 5-1/2-inch cowboy boots Jim got me for Christmas. Do you think me mad? I am addicted to height. If height addiction is like drug addiction then 3-inch platforms were my gateway drug and I am well into the next phase. I can't quit. I really can't. You see, all my pants acquisitions have taken into account the phony extra inches, and if I were to suddenly start wearing flat shoes I would either have to a) learn to hem, or b) buy all new pants. Trousers, that is, for you English. (I once told an English boy he had a hole in his "pants," not realizing that meant undies. There was blushing.)

Alexandra dog-sat for us recently and tried to borrow some of my shoes and HA HA! Having crazy tall shoes is kind of like the shoe equivalent of driving a two-seater so you don't have to offer people rides. NO ONE wants to borrow my shoes! I am alone in my madness, it seems. Except for the strippers. No, I know I'm not alone, but it does irk me when I try to shop in regular non-stripper stores and there is nothing to suit me and my addiction. Yesterday I shopped, and I think I must begin to admit to myself I have a problem, because the three-inch platforms just aren't cutting it for me anymore.

My name is Laini and I'm a heightoholic.

Do you think that hitting rock bottom as a heightoholic will involve stilts?

32 comments:

Jim Di Bartolo said...

If Laini is addicted, I have to admit that I'm the one who introduced her to the site she bought those off of. Does that make me her dealer? Hmm. Basically, when shopping for her this past Christmas I could NOT find a local store that sold tall shoes unless they had REALLY narrow/sharp heels and I know Laini hates to attempt to walk in those. SO using Google, I found many-a-site to buy platform-like shoes but most of them were REALLY skeezy. The one I bought her tall cowboy boots off of was pretty skeezy too, but they had GREAT shoes among the stripper ones. I have to admit that by the time I found the cowboy boots I had to call one of our gal friends and get her perspective as to if they were right or not because I'd had skeez-overload by that point and had lost all perspective. (I came up with the following phrasing if Laini saw me on those sites: "It's okay to be on this site because I'm shopping for YOU sweety!")

P.S. - I love you at any height! :)

Jim

b/sistersshoes said...

Jim is such a sweetie pie :)

And being a shoe lover myself...I can completely appreciate your condition!

We shoeoholics should form a club and model our finest finds...I'll sign up :)

sending love~
xdarlene

Susannah said...

Bloody hell!! they already look like stilts to me ;-) the bane of my life is my feet - i can't wear heels cos they are just too wide to fit into the dainty shoes i'd love to wear, so i stick with flip flops, Uggs and Converse - sexy eh? LOL. i thank the angels every day that i was born tall so i can get away with it x

paris parfait said...

Those shoes are adorable, but they look a little scary, in terms of falling over. They remind me of some cork-soled suede clogs I had in college and a pair of platform wedgies. I had to tred very carefully, less I lose my balance and fall "off" my tall shoes. But I agree about wanting to be taller. I used to wear high heels all the time, but since I stopped going into an office, that happens less and less.

Holly Stinnett said...

Laini, you make me laugh! OH how I wish I could wear the high shoes. I'm a shoeaholic/fashionista too, but my struggle is finding shoes that look cool that are NOT 5 or 6 inches. I'm already 5' 8" inches tall, and don't want to tower over people (I know... I know... you'd probably love that!)

Alexandra S said...

This just reminded me that I have to hunt down the Xhilaration 3 inch high black sandal-flipflops I lived in from 2000-2004 so I can relate afterall! They had them every year at Target for super cheap and then all of a sudden they vanished. I like raised shoes but with a mostly even heel/sole? so I don't feel like I'm trying to walk down a steep waterslide. (And, p.s. your collection is not shoeproof. I have many a time proven myself to be quite adaptable if necessary... Now this next weekend of housesitting has a whole new glow to it!)

Alexandra S said...

you know what I just realized? I don't like this new height stuff. THats going to make you 5'10-5'11 and we are going to look like Don Quijote and Sancho Panza when we walk next to each other anywhere. Enough is enough...cancel the order please!

deirdre said...

I have to say that cute as those shoes are, all I can think of is that I'd fall off. That would be bad. I like my height (5'4"), it's enough for me. Except when I can't reach the top shelf at the grocery store. But then, that's why god made tall men. Oh, excuse me, would you mind...? ;)

Marilyn said...

Gee, I should have paid closer attention to your feet! ;) I started with a pair of 4" cork/black velvet flip-flops in the early 70's (when I was in high school) and took it from there, so I understand. But I must admit, now that I'm an older broad I'm much more into comfort than height. But you go, girl!

Amber said...

Oh.My.Gosh...That's all I can say. LOL! How tall are you, anyway? Will I find you on the little people show on A&E or something?!
No, I kid! I am 5'9 and 1/2, and I love to put on heals sometimes and be 6'0 tall! It gives me a nice warm false glow of power, and I like that. hehehe

:)

Laini Taylor said...

Hi Amber & everyone! Jim had mentioned I should probably say I'm of a perfectly average height: 5'4". I'm not mini or anything, but I sure don't mind that extra half a foot on the end of my legs. Pair it with some long pants (trousers!) and it creates a delightful illusion of long legs. If I WAS 5'9" I'm sure I wouldn't feel that need, but sigh, I am not. I heard there's a completely greusome and horrible leg-lengthening surgery people are doing electively in China. I wont' go into details, but it involves bone saws! Agh!

shoofly said...

lookie here...i went shopping for you!
1
2
3
Found these on fluevog.com, all add 6 inches of height! They are boots, so maybe Jim can get you a pair this winter. My 3.5" heels are super comfy, so the insane prices are totally worth it in comfort!

HoBess said...

If you're a heightoholic I'm a heightophobe. My first pair of non-mom shoes was a pair of 5-inch suede clogs from Victoria Secret which I wobbled in the first few times I wore them! I'm almost 5-6, so the five inches made me almost eye-to-eye with hubby, which he seemed to like ... ;) ;)

Deb R said...

I could never wear those and stay on my feet, but I think they look way cool. I especially love the star cutout in the first pair! And I could see being a height addict. If I could walk in shoes that high, those tallest ones would put me over the 6' mark (barely) which would be kind of fun! :-)

Kim G. said...

So do you wear these every day or are they for special occasions? How long can you wear them before they start to hurt? I'm so curious! They look so funky and outrageous - please post a picture of you modeling them when they arrive! I can't remember whose blog it was but I was reading about a pair of red stilleto heels that a gal couldn't wear any more but she kept them as "queen" of the closet. I wonder who will win the battle of the shoes in your closet for "queen"!;)

Thanks for your encouraging comment tonight Laini! I'm looking forward to the trip to Ashland - we're seeing "Winter's Tale" and I do hope we'll have time to visit Jacksonville as well. Haven't been there in about 6 years but I remember it being lovely.

Mardougrrl said...

I miss stripper shoes. I can't imagine them working well with the stroller and the diaper bag and the swirmy toddler and the everpresent yoga pants.

*sigh* Pity, party of one.

I say, rock on with your stripper shoe wearing self...unless the heels are clear. That there is just WRONG.

kelly rae said...

you are so funny. i'm catching up on your blog after a long while, and i'm sitting here with a wide grin. you and your shoes. so funny. and so laini. and i'm loving your new blog header. how'd you do that? and can you teach me?

M said...

This is a great post! I love the red summer sandles best. Maybe I should try this adding height thing- I have bad ankles though, so don't even attempt any sort of high heel for fear of falling over, literally!
Addictions can't always be bad, right?

Frivolitea said...

Too funny. Hey, I was fascinated by your post on illustration vs. fine art. See my comment below. Glad I found your blog. Best.

Sarah e.Smith said...

Fabulous shoes!!!! I used to wear shoes like this all the time, but alas, when carrying a baby not such a good idea :( I miss them! Now I am resorted to wearing flat flip flops that aren't are daring and sexy. I may just have to splurge on a pair for that "just in case" moment though :) Cheers!

Sarah e.Smith said...

P.S.....i am addicted to height too....being 5'4" I would love to be taller :)

melba said...

I love your shoes!!!
My sister told me I am too old to wear such clumpy shoes. Most of my shoes have some platform in them. My steve maddens are the highest, but don't compare to yours. I wear them all the time (well, not as much in the middle of summer)even pushing a baby carriage!
Twice coming home from a bar(not recently) I sprained my ankle wearing them...but I didn't care.
I am only 5' 2" I need the height and leg legnth!

Melanie Sage said...

these scare the hell out of me, they have broken ankles written all over them! I am afraid of heights. you go, though!
Melanie

Frankie said...

Hahaha...I too love these big tall shoes, but unfortunately, I'm 5'9 barefoot and get yelled at by shorter boys for cowering over them. Such insecurity... ;).

Colorsonmymind said...

Oh I want to see pics of you in those shoes. They are very stylish and cute. How tall are you with all this shoe height?

I think I would break my neck if I wore shoes that high-I stumble around sometimes just standing in flats:)

GoGo said...

I'm 5'11'' and I can't get enough of a good heal when I'm dressed up.

I'm no pizza guy either, but I like pizza. :O)

la vie en rose said...

how do they dance...and take their clothes off at the same time...in those things????

Neil said...

Am I the only sensible one here? How do you walk it those? Or is that not the point.

liz elayne said...

oh in my sleepy state i just love that i got to laugh out loud at this new word: heightoholic.
i have been known to describe you as someone who wears very tall shoes...
can't wait to see these! wow!

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Marry J said...

Good article Laini. I really loved it. The boots are awesome. I have a pair of similar boots and they are really very trendy and in fashion too. http://buydiscountcowboyboots.com/