My muse has a wicked little pitchfork. She's jabbing jabbing jabbing me. I'm not resisting; I'm writing. I'm writing every day, and loving it. But I feel such a sense of urgency as if I need to do and write and draw and design more more more. Jab jab jab. You? Does your muse use farm implements?
I'm feeling motivated and on track so far, these first few days of 2007. I've been writing every day. I've been to the gym several times. I've been to a WW meeting and feel refocused on that. But the urgency is only mounting; it makes me feel very anxious! I keep wanting to set some time aside to write about the idea of changing one's ways as an artist, because it's in the process of writing that I discover what I think about something. I want to calmly reflect on the idea of creative/personal growth, in the hopes of figuring out something essential. To what extent is it possible to overcome one's natural inclinations and neuroses? Can we really change our ways?
My specific concern is my writing affliction: perfectionism. I can't tell you how many times I've spent hours tinkering with a single paragraph. I've written about it here before. I've come up with lots of tricks to overcome this tendency (which for years kept me from finishing anything), but it's always temporary; it's an ongoing struggle and if it was a part of me I could strangle. . . well, hm. . . would I? I don't know. I'm sure that it's an integral component of my love of revising, and I know revising makes me a better writer. So I guess I wouldn't strangle it. But I wish I could control it better. I slip in and out of power. It's like me vs. perfectionism, like we're vying for the dictatorship of this tiny country. I wish my muse would turn her pitchfork on him.
Okay. Enough moaning. Instead of telling you how I spent two hours last night tinkering with a single paragraph, I'm going to take the towel turban off my head, dry my hair, and go conquer that blasted paragraph. I'll only feel better once I've gotten in a great writing day. So here's hoping!
Oh, and I found a great website and blog focusing on myth, folklore, and fairy tales: Endicott Studio. There are great links and great book and art and magazine and theater reviews. Check it out.
Also, forthcoming is a new e-newsletter called Write Free, now open for subscriptions. I'm really excited to see what Jordan and Becca put together; I love to read about writing, and write about writing, and was very pleased to be invited to "appear" in the first issue. (Especially since "writing free" is exactly what I want to be able to do!)