A discouraging evening of phone-banking

Yesterday, two hours into phone-banking for our Senate candidate, I got a response that really shook me up. I don't really know why it did -- awful as it was, it wasn't anything I didn't know people were saying. I think I may be hormonal; I'm ordinarily not very "flappable" but I was "flapped." At first, shocked. I couldn't even see the phone as I groped to hit the # key to disconnect the call. Then I couldn't breathe. Then tears came to my eyes (and GOD, they are again, just thinking about it), and I'm sure I got really really red, and Jim and the other volunteer next to him were terribly concerned and I couldn't even say what had happened at first.

I hate to say it, but probably most Obama volunteers have had to hear it, and have confronted this ugliness in a way that most of us are sheltered from in our daily lives.

We had a new script last night -- this one mentioned Obama's name in conjunction with our candidate, Jeff Merkley, to combine the two names in voters' minds. So, this was the first time I've made calls specifically mentioning Obama. I got one "No WAY!" as soon as I mentioned his name, and I got more Republicans last night than Democrats, but a fair number of them were polite and just said nicely that they were voting for McCain. Fine. Thank you, have a nice evening. But the call that turned out to be my last call of the night (I wimped out after, I hate to say it), the response was, "I wouldn't vote for that [worst racial slur] if my life depended on it."

Again, I know there are these people. We have had a rift in my own family, in fact. This election has revealed racism we never knew about. My mother has gotten the ugliest email forwards from redneck cousins, and she has stopped talking to the brother-in-law who is like a brother to her -- who she has known for almost sixty years without ever knowing he was a racist. And not only is he, but he isn't ashamed of it. Not one of those who gives some other reason for not voting for Obama, but admits it's because he could never vote for a black man. (A Democrat, he was for Hillary.) And this uncle, he is a sweet man who has always been really good to my siblings and me. How can this be? And, is he "out of our family" now? My aunt, my mother's sister, is no longer living -- we have no blood tie. If it's "just politics" you can agree to disagree with a loved one, but what if it's racism? That's not politics, that's character. That's heart and soul.

The idea that racism can find a nest in someone you truly believed to be a thoughtful, loving person. . . it's very upsetting. You may tell me I'm being very naive about racism, that lots of racists love their families and are good people in other areas of their lives, but the thing is, my uncle wasn't raised racist. His own parents and siblings aren't racists. So, how can you explain it, that hate can find its way in to someone's heart like that? And sure, I am naive, because I've lived a long time in small West-coast progressive cities: Berkeley and Portland. You don't hear the "n" word here! Last night was, I think, the first time I've heard it in that direct of a way, not on TV or in a movie, and not in Huckleberry Finn. And, it kind of bowled me over.

I heard other unpleasant things last night, too, but they were mostly just stupid, like the guy who was voting for Palin because he "digs that hot librarian look" -- and I could only reply, "That's very nice, Sir, but I'm inquiring about the Oregon Senate race." And I had a woman tell me with a shaking voice that our candidate "should be in jail" but when I asked "Why?" deeply curious what on Earth she could be referring to, she only muttered, "For crimes against the people!" and slammed the phone down. (Ah, unspecified "crimes against the people." I have some ideas about who we might jail for that!) And I had some toolbag who was effing with me, saying things like, "Huh, I haven't heard of any of those candidates," (including Obama) and "What did you say your last name was?" And then, at last, as my love of the human race was at a low ebb, came the biggie.

Ugh.

The polls today make me feel a little better. I don't know their accuracy, but some polls are showing Obama opening up leads in Florida and Ohio (!!!!!!), in addition to gains already made in Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Michigan. I have hope, but I also have these ignorant, hateful voices ringing in my head. One thing is clear: we really, really need Democrats to run this country for a while and prioritize EDUCATION. It is only through education that we can ever hope to see the last of racism and homophobia and religious intolerance, and the mind-boggling disregard for environmental concerns, and so much more. It is only through education we can have voters who can think and won't fall for the most blatant and misleading campaign bullsh** that is foisted on them. We can't let up. We have to win this election.

Have you done anything? Can you do anything? Volunteer to drive voters to the polls on election day? Take a few days to register voters before it's too late? Phone-bank? Contribute money? Something? If we end up with Republicans for another four years -- and not just any Repubicans, but the lying, sneering pair before us who are frothing at the mouth to take away more civil rights and go to war against Iran and -- to listen to Palin -- Russia too -- I honestly don't know how I will bear it.

Help!