Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Hilarity ensues

You know what's funny? Calling around for tire chains in Portland right now. Auto-parts store employees find this very, very funny.

What's even more fun than that is to scour the garage for old tire chains, find them, and try to put them on, only to discover they don't fit the new car. Because putting on chains is fun.

And then, calling every cab company in Portland to try to schedule a ride across town for Christmas Eve (with a dog and lots of presents) and getting a perpetual busy signal or ringtone everywhere.

ARG! Did I mention a new storm is supposed to hit tomorrow? WTF?

We feel like such eejits, for not having chains or anything. My dad actually did go and get studded tires and chains, but the hill they live on is still too steep and treacherous for driving -- he would have had to park at the bottom of it (like the neighbors did) to be able to come and go. So those expensive studded tires are sitting in the garage, no help to anyone!

Yeah, Midwesterners and Northeasterners (and Norwegians :-), go ahead and laugh at us, the fumbly, pathetic West Coasters! Here, by the way, is what happens when Portlanders try to drive in the snow:
Hi-Larious, noh?

Maybe, just maybe, my parents' neighbors will drive over some time and retrieve us. We are at their mercy. Fingers crossed.

* * *

In better news, there was coconut cream pie for breakfast:

And last night, as promised, a pile of legs for dinner. Yummy!
The "snowed-in" birthday was very nice. Crab and pie, pretty presents, a snuggly movie. I don't feel any older, and have not yet sighted the "lightning bolt wrinkle" that strikes on 37th birthdays, according to Alexandra.

Hope all is well out there in the wide world!


Anonymous said...

Oh, I can't even imagine being snowed in; that just doesn't happen in TX. Hope you are able to get out soon. Funny you mentioned Coconut Cream pie; that's what I'm making to take to my parent's tomorrow. I'll be posting my recipe later.

Gretchen Alice said...

Happy belated birthday! Pie for breakfast is one of life's greatest pleasures. Also, be safe out there!

Q said...

I really think you need snow plows. And lots and lots of dirt. Poor souls.

Anonymous said...

You sound like us! We found some chains that didn't fit in the garage on Friday. I put them on Craigslist and had about 50 emails in 20 minutes. We finally found the size that fit...today. I'd stashed them by the spare tire IN the car for convenience.


I hope you guys can get out, but either way have a Merry Christmas!

findingmywingsinlife said...

My husband and I died laughing watching the video! you should feel some comfort in the fact that while we get snow & ice ever year here in Indiana, it seems no one can remember that each year as they try to re-learn to drive in the stuff...

Heather said...

OMG. Are you sure that wasn't Vancouver? I would have laughed if it had not been so horrifying. GET OUT OF YOUR CARS PEOPLE.

J.M. said...

OMG Laini, be careful!! I'm wishing you warmth and safety for the holidays. That video was so very sad. No one should be trying to move in that. Just get out of the car..

Oo..Pie. Good idea!

tanita✿davis said...

Happy belated and merry merry! This snow thing is incredible...!!!! I have a former classmate in Portland who keeps emailing me all the craziness... wow. Definitely this should give you writing fodder! And (unwanted) writing time. Thankful you still have power!!

Shelli (srjohannes) said...

Id love a white Christmas. Be safe!

Charlotte said...

Happy Birthday, Laini!

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Tinker said...

Happy Birthday, Laini - hope you find much to celebrate this year -- and a very merry Christmas, happy holidays to you all!

Wyman Stewart said...

Happy Birthday!!! Merry Christmas!!! By the way, welcome to Winter. I believe Winter officially began on Dec. 21, but not certain. This is one birthday you won't soon forget. Be careful, be safe, and I hope you have plenty of food stored away. If not, try trading a Laini's Lady or two to a squirrel for some nuts.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas!! The whole getting around has been a challenge. We do not have chains either. Chuck;s mom used to make crab in red sauce over spaghetti for the holidays. The crabs look yummy.
I so feel your pain regarding trying to get around.

tone almhjell said...

Hee hee, yes, sorry for the snow snicker. Norwegians dent their cars on slippery roads, too, though, and I drive veeeery slowly in sleet, and my tires have the little metal thingys that keep me safe, and we have people who clear the roads very quickly when it's snowing, day or night. I'd tell you to walk more, but then I've been to the States quite a few times and have discovered that it's hard to walk when everything is so spread out. To get to the sore, I walk for three minutes, not an hour, and that certainly makes it easier.

So you're off the snicker hook! I'm glad you got to spend the holidays with your family and that your birthday was romantic and that Leroy has tire tracks to walk in.

And we have kittens...six!

Granny Smith said...

Port Townsend is even less accustomed to snow than Portland (Grandson Joe says it only snowed 3 times when he was growing up). When son Otto met it at Sea-Tac it was with newly-bought snow tires not yet installed. By the time we got to 30 miles of Otto and Kristin's home we were met by increasingly slippery roads and near whiteout conditions. Otto stopped and struggled in the snow to install the chains - only to find that a piece was missing. Got home, but became thoroughly snowed in two successive storms, during one of which husband Otto had to be transported by fire department ambulance to the hospital 2 blocks away - no other way to get there. Otto's O.K. now and we're in our Port Townsend home headquarters for Christmas.

We all enjoyed your YouTube post of Portland drivers sliding crashing and continuing to slide.

I hope your Christmas has been a happy one.


Jaime Temairik said...

Hi Laini!

Hope you did make it out to see the fam or else I hope you have loads of food until you can have a belated birthday/Xmas get together with them.

We won't see my Nana until this weekend because of the darn snow. And Aaron and I forgot to go grocery shopping for Xmas dinner with all the stores closed, but had really good Amy Sedaris greek spaghetti which I highly recommend if you get snowed in again: