So, how I said there are a lot of great quotes that are unsuitable for Laini's Ladies? Here are a few. Enjoy!
"Is that a bullet-proof vest? See, now, that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
- Janet Evanovich
"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
- Mark Twain
"Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck."
- Joss Whedon
"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
- G.K. Chesterton
"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
- Chuck Palahniuk
"Give a man fire, and he's warm for the day. Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life."
- Terry Pratchett
"Anyone who thinks sitting in church makes you a Christian must also think sitting in a garage can make you a car."
- either Garrison Keillor or G.K. Chesterton
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
- Mark Twain
"Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
- Susan Ertz
"I do not want people to be agreeable. It saves me the trouble of liking them."
- Jane Austen
"You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when he hates all the same people you do."
- (I'm paraphrasing from an Anne Lamott book; was this from Bird by Bird? I just remember her priest said it :-)
"Cats aren't clean. They're just covered in cat spit."
"Sometimes you kill just one person, and it takes care of everything."
- Joann Sfar (from The Rabbi's Cat)
"When we lose 20 pounds, we may be losing the best 20 pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love, and honesty!"
- Woody Allen
"We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same."
- Carlos Castaneda
Okay, that's all for now. Some of these were gleaned from GoodReads -- thank you to Persnickety Jen for mentioning that. It hadn't occurred to me to look there! However, I have to say that in the GoodReads quote bank, Stephenie Meyer is way over-represented. And I mean nothing against Stephenie Meyer, it's just that it seems like every other quote is her, and some of them -- no doubt inserted by die-hard fans -- are not really the most breathtaking quotes ever. For example:
"You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."
You're all scribbling that down in your favorite quotes journals, right? Maybe you aren't, but somewhere out there are 288 people who *liked* this quote enough to get it ranking in the top 20 pages of GoodReads quotes. So, okay.
And I'll leave you with one that I love but that is a little too long for a Laini's Lady:
"The very least you can do with your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof."
- Barbara Kingsolver