Whatever became of the giant hats?

Whatever became of the giant hats? I don't mean: why have they gone out of fashion. I mean: what actually happened to them all? Imagine trying to throw away a hat this size! They wouldn't fit in a bin! And the quantity of gigantic millinery! Are there whole landfills stuffed with hats?
And how about closet space, back in the day? I mean, where did they keep their hats? Can't you just imagine the space these things must have taken up?











Can you imagine fitting through doorways in these? This next one, I imagine you'd have to duck a little:
And the neck muscles you had to have to support some of these! Though this one looks like maybe it had some aerodynamic quality that helped it stay afloat on its own, like a kite:
And, you know, if you didn't own a really big hat, you could always make one, out of household objects:
HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Book lovers, a question for you:

[But first, a random picture I came across while searching for Laini's Ladies images. What do you suppose is going on here? It's kind of like sitting on Santa's lap, but instead of Santa, it's the devil.]











Okay, question. Which of the following quotes do you like better, and which would you be more inclined to purchase as a Laini's Lady?

"There is nothing as cozy as a piece of candy and a book."
-- Betty MacDonald, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle’s Magic

OR

"I have always imagined paradise will be a kind of library."
-- Jorge Luis Borges

Thanks!

random work update with quotations

I am working on a few new Laini's Ladies designs, and yesterday I went to Powell's to peruse quote books and design books and glean inspiration. I found some wonderful quotes, but not great for Laini's Ladies, which are tricky and must have wide appeal plus either humor or uplift or both.

"Old age means realizing your will never own all the dogs you wanted to." -- Joe Gores

"The world is a spiritual kindergarten, where millions of bewildered infants are trying to spell 'God' with the wrong blocks." -- Edwin Arlington Robinson

"One of the disadvantages of having children is that eventually they get old enough to give you presents they make at school." --Robert Byrne

I don't think I mentioned it, but I sent off the most recent pass of Silksinger to my editor last week. It was a light sort of last-chance pass, where I managed to weed a few thousand words out and clarify a few things. Not sure, but perhaps the next pass I get will be copyediting -- just simple corrections, commas, etc. Could it be. . . that I will ever be finished with this book? Sometimes it feels like NOT, like perhaps Purgatory is an endless process of revising one book. Hey, what if Purgatory were an endless process of revising your life like it was a manuscript. Over and over again. What parts would you cut out? Could you add scenes too? Hm. That would probably be too much fun for Purgatory. I don't think Purgatory is supposed to be fun.

Huh. I think that's all I have to say. Exciting. Oh wait, no. There's this, from Western Carolina University, where today a bear cub was found murdered,* shot in the head, wrapped in Obama flags, and dumped at the entrance to campus. A message? Lovely. Some McCain supporters have really been doing their party proud (and don't get in a huff. I'm not saying all McCain supporters kill animals to make threats.)

*in the new National Geographic, the letters page starts out with messages re: whether killing an animal like a gorilla in Rwanda is murder or "just killing." There are articulate letters on both sides, but I'm on the side of calling it murder, particularly when it is done in cold blood, not for food or in self-defense, but to send a message. Like this. I also believe sport-hunting not for food but for fun is murder. Which brings to mind another quote I came across yesterday:

"The English country gentleman galloping after a fox -- the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable." -- Oscar Wilde

Wrapped in the flag

Can someone reassure me that the McCarthy witch hunts could not happen again in America? I'd like to think they couldn't, but that doesn't mean some Republicans aren't trying to foment the same kind of fear and rage that was stirred up back in those days. Like, the heinous and despicable Michelle Bachmann (R-Minnesota):
Basically, what I think she's trying to do is conflate "liberal" with "anti-American," and Chris Matthews sort of goads her out into saying something truly extreme. Does she really think that members of Congress should be "investigated" to determine whether they are or are not anti-American? Well, I've seen this lady in action on Larry King a couple of times, and I think she's crazy, so I'm not going to put it past her.

I think that the vast majority of Americans do not agree with her, and that this miserable tactic of hers is going to fail, and fail big time. In fact, she just may have screwed her own chances for reelection. Since the Hardball show, her opponent, Elwyn Tinklenberg has seen an awe-inspiring influx of $620,000 in campaign contributions!!! In just a few days! I don't know so much about fund-raising, but I'm fairly sure that that is a HUGE take for a few days in the life of a congressional challenger.

I hope this response serves as a message to Republicans that Americans do not want accusations of anti-Americanism right now, but a positive commitment to change. Check out this powerful response from someone investigated during McCarthy's crusade:
This might be William Mandel; not sure, but WELL SAID.

Read the below quotes and ask yourself, did Thomas Jefferson hate America? James Madison? Huh. Who'd have thought the founding fathers were so anti-American!

Fascism will come wrapped in a flag and carrying a Bible. ~ Sinclair Lewis 1935

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. - James Madison

The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to be always kept alive.– Thomas Jefferson

The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders...tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. – Herman Goering (Scary, Michelle Bachmann, you sound like you've been reading from the Nazi playbook.)

What luck for rulers that men do not think. - Hitler

Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices. – Voltaire

When the government fears the people it is a democracy....when the people fear their government it is tyranny... - Thomas Jefferson

Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels. - Samuel Johnson

During times of war, hatred becomes quite respectable, even though it has to masquerade often under the guise of patriotism. - Howard Thurman

Patriotism is the veneration of real estate over principle. - George Jean Nathan

If there be one principle more deeply written than any other in the mind of every American, it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest. - Thomas Jefferson

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. – William Ellery Channing

BEWARE THE LEADER WHO BANGS THE DRUMS of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know ? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar. - Anonymous

If you like Katharine Hepburn, here is a 10-minute speech that she gave back in the McCarthy era:

Hugs to Mark Twain; a book recommendation; plus McCain goes Maori?

I love the silly sense of validation that comes from finding out a Genius Writer shares or shared my particular creative process. It is silly, because it's not like process = genius. But anything that makes me feel less cuckoo as I scritch-scratch away at my writing, I hug it. Like this, which I found via Robin Brande's blog. She links to a New Yorker article about creative late-bloomers, and it's a good read, but the part I want to hug is this:

“[Mark Twain's] routine procedure seems to have been to start a novel with some structural plan which ordinarily soon proved defective, whereupon he would cast about for a new plot which would overcome the difficulty, rewrite what he had already written, and then push on until some new defect forced him to repeat the process once again. Twain fiddled and despaired and revised and gave up on “Huckleberry Finn” so many times that the book took him nearly a decade to complete. The Cézannes of the world bloom late not as a result of some defect in character, or distraction, or lack of ambition, but because the kind of creativity that proceeds through trial and error necessarily takes a long time to come to fruition."

Thank you for that. Thank you. That so well describes my "process" of writing a novel, and when I am in the midst of that process, it can feel like lunacy. Like there is something wrong with my brain. But if Huckleberry Finn was written in that way. . . well, again, process does not equal genius, but this just goes to show that writers must work with the brains they have. Master your own unique brain as best you can, do what you have to do, waste no time wishing your creativity were of a different variety, but just knuckle down.

Here's a quote from Mark Twain:
"There are some books which refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself."

Thank you. Great picture, no?


Latest Cybils read: Allegra Goodman's The Other Side of the Island. Liked it very, very much. Zoomed through it. It's middle-grade fiction as written by an erudite, National Book Award-nominated adult author, and it is clear, swift, disturbing, and beautifully crafted. Perhaps not a highly original concept, but so well-executed, and besides, what is a highly original concept? The book takes place after the polar ice caps have melted, and only scattered islands remain where once were continents. "Earth Mother" and her Corporation rule what remains, and have even (they claim) conquered the weather. It's your usual totalitarian regime, no books allowed in homes, watch towers in the neighborhoods, etc. Into this world, a small family comes: 10-year-old Honor and her parents, who were found living free on a Northern Island and have been relocated to Corporation-controlled Island 365 in the Tranquil Sea. Early on, there are disturbing hints about their memories vanishing, and it soon becomes clear that the Corporation puts chemicals euphemistically known as "Planet Safe" into everything, the water and food, the laundry detergent, the plant fertilizer, to subdue people's memories and individuality. And when people fail to fit in properly, they disappear.

"No one ever knew how parents disappeared. They would go off to work as usual, and they'd never be heard from again. Or you could go to sleep at night, and in the morning your parents' bed would be empty." What worse fear, for a child? In one horrible case in the book, a girl is trying on a school uniform in the dressing room of a store, and when she comes out, her parents are simply gone. They are taught to accept that their parents no longer are. And then, under the influence of Planet Safe, in due time, they will forget them.

Honor's free-spirited parents are making no effort to "fit in." They even do the unthinkable and have a second child, and then, even worse -- refuse to give him up for redistribution within the community. Second children are such a taboo that the words "brother" and "sister" have become insults. Honor lives in constant fear that her parents will be taken, even as she herself tries desperately to "fit in." Through the whole narrative, the title looms -- the other side of the island -- an ever-present reminder of the secret of what lies on the untamed side of the mountain. (But you'll have to read it to find out.)

Much opportunity for discussion in this book, about the nature of thought and freedom, about global warming, and what price one is willing to pay for "safety."

[On Allegra Goodman: she graduated from Punahou School in Honolulu, as did Barack Obama and. . . my sister! She then went on to Harvard and to a PhD in English Lit at Stanford. Her father was a prof of philosophy, her mother of genetics and women's studies, and her sister is an oncologist -- and was the inspiration for the laboratory of cancer researchers in her novel Intuition. Smartypants family!]

And apropos of absolutely nothing, how great are these stills from the last debate?

My personal theory is that John McCain is attempting to practice Maori intimidation:

And at any moment he might just break into a fulll-on ha-ka:
Is that not spectacular? I don't think it would quite as awe-inspiring as performed by McCain!

Inducing the fictional dream. . . with kissing!

(Yummy yummy.)

At the library conference I attended last week, I got to hear YA author Christine Fletcher give a talk on her second novel Ten Cents a Dance (which I will be reading as soon as I read the hundred and sixtyish Cybils nominees!!), and it was a treat. Not only did she dress up in World War II era costume, with a darling hairstyle, but she talked about writing historical fiction, including the sorts of delicious small details that are what I love about historical fiction (in this case, the all-but-forgotten taxi dance halls of the first half of the 20th C), and she talked about inducing the fictional dream.

I'd heard this expression, but I haven't read John Gardner, so I didn't know exactly what it referred to. It's this:

"a true work of fiction. . . creates a vivid and continuous dream in the reader's mind--"

It's the state induced by reading in which the book essentially disappears, the black and white words vanish, and the story becomes a vivid and continuous "dream" that the reader is experiencing. Lifelong reader though I am, I guess I hadn't really taken the time to marvel at this phenomenon, but have rather taken it for granted. And it is a phenomenon, right? The fact that the brain can gobble up those printed words and spin them like magic into a fluid kind of dream state, where you're actually there. Wow. Is that not the coolest thing ever? Brain, I love you.

Anyway, thanks Christine for the great talk. You should wear your hair like that all the time! (I mentioned Christine once in my blogger conference posts -- she's the one who's living my childhood dream of being a veterinarian/writer!)

So, I indulged myself in the fictional dream last night, and after a long day of putting the final futz on this last pass of Silksinger (it's hard to let go of the last pass. It's like: last chance!!! Ack!!!), I gave in to the sofa, picked up a particular book I had just received in the mail, and read all evening, and into the night. Grinning. Swooning. I read until 2 am, deep in the fictional dream. In this dream I was a teenage girl falling in love with a wonderful boy in a glorious romantic city. And you can't read it -- nyah nyah -- because it is a manuscript and only, like, three people in the world have it. We are very Special, very Privileged people! It is the work of Stephanie Perkins, mad girl-genius and blue-striped librarian of the Carolinas, you know, the one I've told you about who comes home from her job of dealing with snarky library patrons (and fishing used band-aids and other gross things out of books) and stays up until like 4 in the morning writing? Kind of like Faulkner used to do? Yeah, her. And because of all that dedication, there is a FINISHED MANUSCRIPT in the world! And it rocks. Here it is, as arrived the other day in a box weighted with goodies:
Look: presents! And cake! Raspberry lemon-curd shortbread, actually, as pictured close-up above. YUM. The book itself is in the pink binder. And because of the pink binder, I decided to make my comments in pink ink, with pink post-its. Disgusting, I know. Too much pink! But it's really the perfect color for all the hearts and smileys I drew everywhere. This book is funny as hell, incredibly romantic and sweet, and totally saturated in teen anguish and excitement and hope and disappointment and loooooovvvve. It's a romance, and an un-guilty pleasure because it's so smart and funny, and the teenager in me wanted to slip right inside and live in the story.

(Is there a teenager in you? I've been wondering lately if that is the difference between adult readers of YA and adult non-readers of YA, if there are those among you grownups who no longer relate to or care about what it's like to be a teenager. Are there such people? I genuinely wonder. Seriously: if you are somebody in whom the teenager has been extinguished, identify yourself. I remember, when I was a kid, believing that becoming a grown-up would be as clear a thing as crashing through finishing-line tape, like there was a discreet time 'before' and time 'after.' Now I know that's not true, that nobody I know ever graduated to adulthood, but that doesn't mean you're not out there. Hellooooooo? Anybody? As for me, I'm not sure why I love reading about teenagers. I didn't love actually being one, but I love being one vicariously through books. Maybe it's the intensity of emotion, the idea of a person becoming who they are, being a crazed crucible of hormone and emotion all the time and still being expected to function.)

Anyway, I love Stephanie's book, and I am so inspired by her dedication in working such insane hours to get this draft done -- makes me feel like a slacker! Must. Write. More. One thing I loved about this book is that it is a book entirely made out of "good parts." You know what I mean? Some books, you feel anxious to get to the good parts? And other books, it's just one good part flowing seamlessly into the next good part? This is like that. With a funny, loveable heroine, a delicious boy I would love to tell you about but won't, because he belongs to Stephanie, an awesome setting, powerful attraction that makes you grin and swoon while reading, believable teens talking like teens (the smart kind I wish I was more like back in the day), including cursing (future editor of this book, whoever you may be: do not touch the cursing. I will kick you).

So. Yeah. Awesome. I am absolutely certain you will all get your chance to read this book in good time. But until then, I will continue to gloat. (Nyah nyah.) If you want to congratulate Steph, go HERE and gush about the awesomeness of Finishing a Novel. It is a huge, huge, huge feat, especially when it happens to be made out of awesome. Yayyyyyyyy!!!!

That will most likely be the last non-fantasy/sci fi I read for a goodly while. It was kind of like cheating on the Cybils, but I had to do it, and I en't a bit sorry! Now, I have so many gorgeous glorious clean (band-aid free) library books stacked on my nightstand for the Cybils, it's so hard to choose which to read next!! I just started Allegra Goodman's The Other Side of the Island, while being almost through Kaimira: The Sky Village. And I'm eyeballing Savvy and Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow and more more more. It's like choosing bon bons from a heart-shaped box. The deliciousness of all those fictional dreams just waiting to pull me in.

I loved The Magic Thief. Middle-grade fantasy, good for 8 - 12. And I'd tell you if it didn't hold up as an adult read (not all middle-grade fantasy does), but it does. The main character is a "gutterboy" thief named Conn who picks the wrong pocket one night and steals a wizard's locus magicalicus, the stone that is the center of his power. Doing such a thing should be the end of Conn, but oddly enough, he doesn't die. Intrigued, the wizard takes him on as a servant, and soon as an apprentice. The catch: Conn has to find his own locus magicalicus within 30 days or his dream of becoming a magician will be over. Meanwhile, very disturbingly, the magic is draining out of the city. Clever Conn has his own ideas as to what's going on, but of course, who listens to children? This is another book that moves from good part to good part. A quick and very satisfying read. Highly recommended.

And lastly last last, look at the adorableness of this painting Jim just did for a friend's anniversary:
The text reads: Bees Knees, the. You can see it better on Jim's blog. I think he is the bees knees. And oh, the Lips Touch cover is coming along, and it is going to be gorgeous!

Ramblings on childhood and condors. Weird, I know. I had no plan today!

I kind of love ugly animals. This condor totally looks like a Skeksi, doesn't it? Remember Skeksis? Man, we watched The Dark Crystal a lot as kids. We lived overseas and had slim TV options, so the few movies we had on VHS, we watched repeatedly. Annie was another one. But mostly, we were outdoors -- especially from 4th to 8th grades, living in Italy. We were never inside during the day. We had cliffs to climb, boats to steal, beaches to patrol, abandoned train tunnels to navigate, ancient Roman ruins smattered around town, barely boarded up. One could usually expect to find a discarded nudie magazine in the ruins. I guess Italian boys had to go someplace to get away from their mamas' watchful eyes!

Why am I writing about this? I don't know. An effort to put up a brief post that is not political! So, childhood was awesome. I was so, so lucky. I always lived in great, safe places where we could run wild. In Virginia Beach there was a wetland at the end of our housing development, a lake full of snapping turtles and snails. We shoe-skated on the ice in winter. Once, in summer, a gigantic thunderstorm flooded the whole neighborhood so that we could actually float on inflatable rafts into all the cul de sacs. A creepy "big boy" who lived down the way told us he could breathe underwater, and I believed him, and argued the fact with my parents. In Belgium, I used to ride my bike miles to the Red Cloister, a convent situated among forests and lakes, and I watched a swan's nest day by day until the cygnets hatched. If that sounds a bit Anne of Green Gables, I have to also admit we American kids would ride the metro downtown and go to bars at night, though I was in 9th grade and didn't like the taste of alcohol. We'd dance to Simple Minds and Howard Jones and Depeche Mode. We went to concerts too, and brought bottles of cheap wine up to the top of a parking structure. We called it The Ninth Floor, like it was one more bar to meet at. Thinking of this time in my life I am reminded how back then, good jeans did not exist for the non-beanpole, and how much that sucked. If I could go back in time, I would bring my 9th-grade self some good flare-leg long jeans and some platform boots. She would be so grateful.

I would also try to persuade her to nevermind about boys until well after highschool, but I doubt she'd listen. Is there really any power that can subdue those hormones? Not that I dated much in highschool. Not at all. But I yearned to, and wasted much time in the yearning!

Not so Anne of Green Gables, that. Anyway, back to my original point: we weren't home watching TV. Like, ever.

After we moved back to the States, when I was a sophmore, TV asserted itself. We spent that summer with my aunt and uncle, and we watched Days of Our Lives every day, along with swimming in the pool. But there were not outdoor adventures. Not really ever again. So, I feel like I was incredibly lucky to have those abandoned train tunnels and Roman ruins, that Belgian convent with the swans. The safety to ride my bike miles by myself, to ride on the back of an Italian boy's moped. The activity that so rarely involved television.

I didn't mean to slip in any way into politics, but I was struck by what Obama said in the debate last night, about how part of the responsibility for education does fall on the parents, to keep the TV off and the video games away. I wanted him to go on to urge reading with your children, but he stopped short of that. He's promoted it on other occasions, but it would have been great to hear him say it again.

Well, this had nothing to do with my ugly condor up there. I'll finish with a condor tidbit: in Peru, Andean condors are routinely killed because people believe the giant birds carry away lambs from their flocks. However, one need only look at a condor's feet to see that this would be impossible. They have feet like a turkey, adapted for waddling around. Not feet like an eagle, for swooping and grabbing. Not like this:
(Do not watch if predation in nature shows make you sad.)

Holy WOW!!! That was a Golden eagle. Here's a harpy eagle. Same advice applies:

Here's an Andean condor. This one's safe to watch. No predation:

Youtube, I love you. (Speaking of TV, does anyone watch The Office? How Michael admitted that when he discovered Youtube he didn't work for 5 days? ha ha!)

Why you should be reading Rolling Stone magazine

Why? Because it rocks national affairs, international affairs, arts, and general interesting fricking stories. Take the current issue, for example (the first in a shift to regular magazine size, to accomodate more articles):

• Obama's Moment The candidate discusses how George W. Bush messed up, why John McCain turned ugly and what he learned from Bill Clinton. By Eric Bates
  
• Can the Republicans Steal the Election? The GOP is at it again, deterring new voters and discarding Democratic ballots. By Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Greg Palast
  
• Death of a Red State One rural Colorado voting district is poised to turn left. Is America outgrowing the politics of bigotry? By Matt Taibbi
  
• The Nomad Warriors of Ethiopia A trip among remote African tribes reveals an ancient way of life. Photo porfolio by Sebastião Salgado
  
• The Last Days of David Foster Wallace The literary superstar's family and friends reveal the struggles that led to his tragic suicide. By David Lipsky
  
• Inside the Taliban Scenes from behind the lines of America's latest failed war. By Nir Rosen

Um. Sebastiao Salgado? RFK Jr and Greg Palast? Matt Taibbi, who is the best, funniest, most insightful, and even deliciously crude, opinionated journalist I have ever read? (And yes, there is a place for opinion in journalism, as long as it is clear it is opinion, unlike Faux News.) And then there's the entertainment stuff: "Bruce Rocks the Vote," a story on teen idol Nick Jonas getting a master class from his own idol, Elvis Costello; Tina Turner; Blitzen Trapper. Movies. More. All in one issue. The Ethiopia article is stunning. I mean, did I mention. . . Sebastiao Salgado? The Taliban story? Holy freaking shite. The election-stealing story? Horrifying. Any one who's reading this and wants to dismiss Rolling Stone out of hand as a music magazine or left-wing screed. . .

"It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it." ~Mark Twain

and

"The mind is like a trunk: if well-packed, it holds almost every thing; if ill-packed, next to nothing." ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare

and

"Some minds are made of blotting-paper: you can write nothing on them distinctly. They swallow the ink, and you find a large spot." ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare

and, for fun:

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." ~Terry Pratchett

ha ha ha!

So, anyway. Whew. It was hard to turn off comments yesterday. I still wanted to check, even though I knew there would be none. It's a kind of madness, I tell you. I also, out of anxiety, kept revising little bits of the post throughout the day. Why anxiety? It's the issue. It's a divider. Each side is entrenched, and thinks the other uses it to stoke support from their followers. Coming from the left, it had never occurred to me that the right thinks the left manipulates this issue to make their voters fall in line. That's what I think of them. I mean, they're the ones who politicized it. Funny, isn't it? But not "ha ha" funny. Anyway, it's an issue that many people think doesn't bear discussion, being an "agree to disagree" area, but I thought that Frank Schaeffer's opinion was very well articulated, and does merit further thought.

Lastly, if a pro-life former evangelical can vote for Obama, and a 106-year-old Vatican nun can vote for Obama, there might be something to the idea that "pro-life" means a whole lot more than just "anti-choice." Check out the oldest living American voter:

More agreeing to disagree -- on the wedgiest of all wedge issues

But before we reach the political portion of our post, here is a little something for those readers not so interested in my political views. Books, books, and more books! The Cybils nominations have run wild, and now I and my fellow nominating panel members have our work cut out for us. This wee stack is just a first bite out of a list of over 130 eligible titles in the Fantasy & Science Fiction category, so far (nominations open until the 15th). Eek! You know what would be great? A cabiny getaway somewhere either snowy or beachy, for the sole purpose of reading through this list. Yum.

Okay, now to the agreeing to disagree topic. Thanks for all the supportive comments. And thanks too to the Republicans who voiced their opinions. I know it's not an easy thing to do in a forum where you feel like you're in the minority. However, I'm turning off comments to this post, and here's why: if I don't, I'll be checking for comments all day, wondering what people will say. I posted this briefly last night, then after about an hour decided to take it down until I had reread and considered it some more. This morning I wasn't sure if I would post it. But here's why I am: because in that hour or so that it was up, a blogger read it and emailed me this morning, and I didn't even read her email yet, because seeing it filled me with dread. Not because it will be uncivil; it won't. She and I maintain a civil discourse across a great divide, and I respect her for that. But I got that feeling of dread (really, I felt it physically, in my stomach) because I was afraid of finding the judgemental religious attitude that I, as a non-religious person, see as un-Christian. The inhumanity, the "let-them-eat-cake" attitude toward the poor. And, I'm guessing, the punitive attitude toward women and girls who find themselves pregnant.

When I was a teenager, I had very little empathy. I had been lucky my whole life -- not wealthy but comfortable. No one in my family had been sick or injured. We had enough to eat, new clothes when we needed them. I had two loving parents, my own bedroom, and we even got to travel. I read Ayn Rand in high school and thought, "Yeah, some people are just worth more than other people." I, of course, was one of the "some." And in that time, I thought women should be responsible for the choice they make to be sexually active and have to live with the consequences. And because I have grown, I can now look back and admit that I thought it with an air of moral superiority. It was never a religious matter for me. I just wanted everyone to be strong and responsible. I still think that would be nice. But what if being strong and responsible was, for me, a matter of luck, of being born into a loving, supportive family, and having access to education? Having been lucky, I can only take partial credit for who I am as a person. Someone who is unlucky and rises above circumstances, they can take full credit for themselves. I have a more nuanced world view now than the Ayn Rand-influenced elitism of my youth, and I can see that there are people who are neither lucky nor strong enough to rise above overwhelming circumstances. And there are people who are strong and responsible who still make mistakes, or don't make any mistake and yet find themselves in a tough situation. Can we strive to see the complexity of the human experience and try to help people rather than punish them?

So I write about this topic from the place of someone who has been in those judgmental shoes and know how it feels to stand there. And I know that it is possible for people to grow empathy, because I did. My world view now is not at all what it was when I was 18. And I want to post this because it's about a mind being changed where one wouldn't expect it: out of the evangelical church. I think it's important. It pains me a little to turn off comments, because like all bloggers, I crave me some comments, but I just think it's best for today if I'm going to get any work done. And, selfishly, I don't want to feel any more of that dread I felt when seeing I'd gotten an email response to the topic.

This, I concede, is a true "agree to disagree" issue, the wedgiest of all wedge issues: choice. Though I support choice, I would never try to convince someone who is anti-choice to change their mind. I honestly see where they are coming from, believing in protecting the sanctity of life as they see it. I get it. I don't disagree that abortion is ugly and that we should be working as a society to make it as rare as possible. Where pro-choice people disagree with the anti-choice movement is that we want to work toward making abortion rare by providing education, birth control, and reproductive rights and services to all men and women. We want to clear the miasma of shame away from sex, and allow girls and women to make sexual choices (for and against) from a position of power, self-respect, and information. And when mistakes are made and accidents and crimes occur, we want girls and women to be able to choose how to deal with those mistakes and accidents and crimes in the way that they deem best for themselves. We think people should have sovereignty over their own bodies, not be held hostage to another person's ideology.

Okay. Here are some things I've long thought, but never expected to find expressed articulately by a former high-profile evangelical Christian:

"And I’d say something else about the choice issue. I am pro-life. I haven’t changed in that regard. If people read my book, Crazy for God, they’ll see that I’ve gone left, if you want to put it that way, in many, many areas, but not that one. But I actually believe that if your interest is not ideology and ideological purity, but rather abortion itself, i.e. you want more or less abortions, that the medical and social programs that Barack Obama is talking about for our country, in terms of care of women and children and families, improvement in education and possibilities for all Americans, actually will result in less abortions. So my interest in the abortion issue is that I think abortion is a tragedy. My interest is not the politics of it, as in always appearing to vote for the person who has the correct ideology.

And so, I think there’s a choice for Americans interested in this issue who are like me, pro-life, and that is, do you want to choose ideological purity attached to a party that will so destroy our economy and all the social programs that there will be more abortions, i.e. as there have been through the Republican-controlled years, when they’ve been talking about this issue for thirty years and done nothing about it for actually helping women and children, or would you rather have a president like Barack Obama, who you disagree with on this one ideological point, in terms of what you might call the theology of the issue, but whose program would practically result in a more conducive environment for families to prosper, for people to have children, for kids to go to school, for women to be taken care of? And I would rather vote for a person who’s going to do the job rather than just have the correct ideology."

That's Frank Schaeffer, lifelong Republican, son of the late evangelist Francis Schaeffer, and erstwhile McCain supporter -- I don't know enough about him to know what other issues I'd agree or disagree on, but the above is excerpted from an interview from Democracy Now! and I strongly recommend reading the whole thing. It's powerful stuff. But his argument about choice, well, it's completely what I think. You can be against abortion and still vote Democrat, unless your ideological identification is what's really important to you, and not the actual lives of people. If you actually want to see a decrease in unwanted pregnancy, you vote Democrat, because it's Democrats who want to educate and equip people to avoid unwanted pregnancy. Going hand-in-hand with that is -- bonus -- providing reproductive care for all women, including pre-natal care. And hey, while you're at it, health care for children!

From Schaeffer in another article:
I am an Obama supporter. I am also pro-life. In fact, without my family's involvement in the pro-life movement it would not exist as we know it. Evangelicals weren't politicized until after my late father and evangelical leader Francis Schaeffer, Dr. Koop (Reagan's soon-to-be Surgeon General) and I stirred them up over the issue of abortion in the mid-1970s. Our Whatever Happened to the Human Race? book, movie series and seminars brought the evangelicals into the pro-life movement.

Fast forward...

In 2000, we elected a president who claimed he believed God created the earth and who, as president, put car manufacturers and oil company's interests ahead of caring for that creation. We elected a pro-life Republican Congress that did nothing to actually care for pregnant women and babies. And they took their sincere evangelical followers for granted, and played them for suckers.

The so-called evangelical leadership -- Dobson, Robertson et al. also played the pro-life community for suckers. While thousands of men and women in the crisis pregnancy movement gave of themselves to help women and babies, their evangelical "leaders" did little more than cash in on fundraising opportunities and represent themselves as power-brokers to the craven politicians willing to kowtow to them.

Fast forward...

Today when I listen to Obama speak (and to his remarkable wife, Michelle) what I hear is a world view that actually nurtures life. Obama is trying to lead this country to a place where the intrinsic worth of each individual is celebrated. A leader who believes in hope, the future, trying to save our planet and providing a just and good life for everyone is someone who is actually pro-life.

Amazing.

At the root of this issue, we want the same thing: an end to unwanted pregnancy. (That is what we all want, right? I think that the Right gets so blinded by ideology on the issue that they maybe forget that that is the goal. They just want to stop the practice of abortion, and not address the real problems that lead to abortion.) Democrats are addressing the issue in a pragmatic way, working for real results, while Republicans are facing it in an ideological way -- choosing to judge and shame and punish women rather than actually address the reality of sex and pregnancy. They fight for abstinence-only education despite all evidence that it is ineffective; they even flaunt a poster-family for its ineffectiveness during this election. WE want real education and available birth control because these things DO work. Abortion is ugly. Nobody is on abortion's side. We're on the side of women. Helping them. Not punishing them, not shaming them. What's more important: feeling righteous, or working for positive change?

While phone-banking, I've had people tell me this is the only issue they vote on. I also had a long and thoughtful discussion last week with an anti-choice person who was at the point of seeing that there are so many issues in this election that will affect our nation is such massive ways, that to vote just on this one issue is. . . well, it's sort of anti-American. It's choosing your ideology over your country. It's choosing the warmonger over the war-ender, it's choosing God over America. And a lot of religious people make no bones about the fact that they choose God over America. If Barack Obama made that assertion (which he has not), wouldn't the Right be flinging that all over the place, foaming at the mouth? Hello, the whole Reverend Wright thing? But when Christian Fundamentalists choose God over country, it's okay? What gives? (In the first article linked above, Schaeffer says he believes the fundamentalists have effectively already seceded from the U.S., that they are working toward a different future -- Armageddon -- than those of us who want to build the best possible America; that fundamentalism is, at its core, anti-America. I'll go further to say it's anti-Earth.)

Another fascinating thing and link. This is from an article by Dr. Robert Burton, former chief of neurology at Mt. Zion-UCSF, and it's about "being certain." He actually wrote a book called On Being Certain which I have not read. What he points out here that I find so interesting is:

"Feelings of absolute certainty and utter conviction are not rational deliberate conclusions; they are involuntary mental sensations generated by the brain. Like other powerful mental states such as love, anger and fear, they are extraordinarily difficult to dislodge through rational arguments. Just as it’s nearly impossible to reason with someone who’s enraged and combative, refuting or diminishing one’s sense of certainty is extraordinarily difficult. Certainty is neither created by nor dispelled by reason."

Holy cow! He goes on to say how studies have shown that when people are questioned about their staunch political beliefs under MRI, it is not the prefrontal cortex of the brain (the reasoning faculty) that "lights up," but the limbic system -- the center for emotional processing! According to the study, "both Republicans and Democrats reached totally biased conclusions by ignoring information that could not rationally be discounted.” Again I say: Holy cow! Beware of certainty, even in (especially in) yourself. Do you really believe what you think you believe? Or do you just assume you do? If you think deeply about it, does it hold up? People get very defensive when they find they can't explain or justify their beliefs, but I wish more people would ask themselves, in privacy, and be more rigorous with their thought. And hey, do research. Try to reach a reasoned conclusion. This is what's so cool about being human -- we can Google! (snort!)

Read the article if you have the time; he says a lot more about the dangers posed by extremely "certain" people. You know, the kind who "will not blink," who are "resolute" and are not moved to change their minds when presented with facts? Yoiks. Verrrrry interestingly, he discusses a study that concludes that "incompetent people tend to overestimate their own skill level; fail to recognize genuine skill in others; and fail to recognize the extremity of their own inadequacy." Sound like any president we know??

I [heart] smart people.

Agree to Disagree?

As this photo indicates (alas, that's just a cardboard cut-out, and not the real Obama), I have made no secret of my political sympathies. It honestly never felt like I made a "decision" to be open about my politics here. Being a liberal is a gigantic part of who I am -- there's no way I could have a personal blog and leave that out. In writing about specifics here lately, I knew I ran the risk of alienating some readers who are not liberal, and of course of just boring other readers who are not interested in politics. But I never for a second considered abstaining from giving my opinion. And I never, never, never "agreed to disagree."

In a recent comment, a reader informed me she is going to stop reading my blog because I express my views in a way that is distasteful to her. (And please do not contact this blogger with any negative comments; please.) She also said, "Whatever happened to agreeing to disagree?" So I want to be clear: I never agreed to that! I reserve my right to disagree! I believe that the conservative policies of the Republican party are destroying the country that I love, and I am not okay with it, and I won't shut up about it. I'm not forcing my opinion on anyone. I don't capture people and talk at them. Even when I phone-bank, I don't try to talk Republicans out of their beliefs.

This reader has every right to stop reading me. If a blog I visited came out as Republican, I might stop reading it too. What I wouldn't do is leave a comment that in any way questions their right to post their opinion in their own personal forum. I'm sure this is not the only reader I've lost; she's just the first one to tell me. And of course I'm sorry to lose any reader, but this election is so important to me, and it's so much of what I think about and talk about in my "real life" that to pretend like it's not going on would just be weird.

So, what's up with this "agreeing to disagree" thing? I think it's basically just a fear of conflict, an unwillingness to engage in debate. In my experience, the people who want to "agree to disagree" are often the people who can't back up their position with facts or solid arguments. And, frustrating as it is, that is their right. Just as it is my right to assert my opinions. Especially here in my own little space. When it comes to religion, I can agree to disagree -- as long as the "other side" is not trying to force their beliefs on me or anyone else or make them into law. But when it comes to the erosion of civil liberties, the mauling of the Constitution, the overturning of environmental protection laws, the unlawful invasion of other countries, and so many other things. . . I assert that I DISAGREE. I do not think all opinions have equal merit. The handful of climate scientists in the world who deny global warming do not balance out the thousands who say it is fact. And so it is with other issues. Just because there are two sides to an argument, doesn't mean they are equally valid.

I am a Democrat, I am a liberal. I believe the path the Republicans are leading us down is not only wrong but potentially calamitous. It's a weird thing, having an invisible readership in a place like a blog. I don't want to insult readers. Despite what this blogger says in her comment, I think I've been pretty careful only to criticize a) party leadership, and b) the really hateful supporters, like the crowds at recent rallies, and the people I myself have spoken to while phone-banking who have been powerfully negative and racist. Any other Republicans who find themselves here, I may not agree with your politics, but it has not been my intention to be personally insulting. To be perfectly honest, I DO feel disdain for people who believe Obama is a terrorist. And I feel contempt for senators who vote against health benefits for children, and for small-town mayors who make women pay for their own rape kits, and for presidents who lie us into wars. But I don't feel contempt for the ordinary people who are civil to me on the phone, whatever their party, and I don't feel disdain for ordinary Americans exercising their rights in a respectful way, no matter who they vote for. Nor do I "agree to disagree."

So that's what I have to say about that. Moving on. In other "news," look at the cute bracelet I bought yesterday at the beach:
Jim's mom has been in town, and yesterday we went out to our favorite stretch of the coast, from Manzanita down to Tillamook, and it was a gorgeous day, blue sky, not much wind. lovely lovely. Smooch:
See that aqua jacket? Jim found it for me at a thrift store the other day; doesn't it set off my hair perfectly? He's such a good shopper. He even found some stray pieces of Lemon Federalist stoneware at the antique store in Wheeler yesterday:
Lemon Federalist are our "everyday" dishes -- we got our set at another antique store, maybe five years ago, and we're missing some pieces, like the teapot. But thanks to Jim's black belt in shopping, not anymore!

And of course, no trip to the coast is complete without a stop at the Tillamook Creamery for full-fat icecream!
It may be full-fat, but at least the portions are really dainty:
As if that wasn't bad enough, today we stopped at Cupcake Jones. Ohhh. I need to get back to the gym! My schedule has been so disrupted lately. Woe is me. . .

Baby Vampire Bats

You know what's cuter than those McCain supporters in that last video I posted? Baby vampire bats! They're pretty cute, aren't they? Don't you kind of want to cuddle them? Even if they grow up to look like this:
Did you know that vampire bats are one of very few mammal species who are known to adopt orphaned young, and help feed less fortunate roost-mates? Isn't that awesome?

I've been getting ready for my presentation tomorrow at the Oregon/Washington school librarians' conference -- it's on "what I do in a school visit." When I heard Cynthia Lord speak at the SCBWI conference back in April, she recommended doing this kind of talk, so here I go. I looked at the conference schedule today, and there are so many great presentations going on, I just hope I get an audience. My talk is called "Pink Wigs & Caterpillar Poop." Hopefully that will pique some interest! I see a couple of Northwest writers I met at the blogger's conference will be speaking too, including Christine Fletcher and Deb Lund.

By the way, I added a new "Earth's Greatest Hits" today. It's creepy-cool parasite stuff. Check it out HERE.

Them

Who are they, these people who are voting for John McCain, who are cheering wildly for Sarah Palin, and who are even hollering out "Kill him!" about Obama at Palin rallies (to which she says nothing). Who are the people that believe Barack Obama is a terrorist, because of his name? Here are some of them in this scary video:
I have heard a lot of first-hand stories recently about educated people who believe Obama is a Muslim and a terrorist (yes, even a lot of educated people believe that is the same thing).

How is it possible not to develop an "us/them" mentality in the face of this willful, hateful ignorance?

"That One" *

Snort! Thanks to dailykos for the button -- they're quick over there!

Tonight, in addition to watching the debate (yay, Obama!), Jim and I celebrated the 10th anniversary of our first date!! We went to a terrific Italian restaurant, then watched some Israeli dancers roll around in sand. Really. We did. It was the Inbal Pinto dance company, and we had rather hoped there would be more dancing involved, but you never really know, do you? They were supposed to be inside a snow globe or something, and there were little dog houses in there with them which they crawled in and out of, and sometimes the male dancers held the female dancers up by their hair. They had to have gotten sand into their every cranny, those dancers. Sigh. For our wedding anniversary in June we went to see a play and it was atrocious and absurd; this was neither atrocious nor absurd, just. . . "avant garde." I'm just not into avant garde. Not in any art form -- not painting, not writing, or dancing, or whatever. I want substance and meaning and context and virtuosity. I want exciting choreography, satisfying pay-off, good story, technique, energy, etc. Not a general air of artiness. You know?

Our first date, by the way, was in San Francisco, when we went to the SF MoMA and discovered that it was closed that day, so basically our first date was to the SF MoMA gift shop, which happened to have a copy of my favorite picture book, Max Makes a Million by Maira Kalman, and I got Jim to read it aloud with me. He said later he felt like it was a test. Maybe it was. He passed!

"I want to say before anything else that dreams are very important. . ." Great book, Max Makes a Million. Recommended for first dates!

*

some video distraction + more thoughts from the phone banks

Goodness. I just swiped this video off Janette Rallison's blog. It's produced by Dove and it shows the makeup and then Photoshop alterations that go into getting one billboard ad:
I guess it's from their "campaign for real beauty," a part of which stresses self-esteem education for girls. Sounds good and all, but I can't shake the feeling that it's still just an advertising gimmick. In any case, the video is interesting. I've been known to Photoshop myself a bit. I'll have to try that neck thing. Snort!

Here's another one, called "Onslaught" showing what girls are bombared with daily:
Interestingly (and in Dutch, so I can't read it) here is one produced by Greenpeace that seems to be saying that Dove products are responsible for deforestation. Well, I guess nobody's perfect, eh Dove? It's a bit unsettling, and mimics the style of the last ad exactly, including the music:

Anyway. Those distracted me for a few minutes this morning, so I thought I'd spread the distraction.

Phone-banking was much better last night that last time! I got plenty of hang-ups and "not interesteds" of course, but nothing nasty. Whew. And I did get a lot of undecided voters who were willing to chat. Yay! It makes me happy when someone is willing to engage, when they care. I don't understand the not caring, but there are still a lot of people who don't believe that "politics" affects their own lives. It does! It does!! Some years ago I read a book by the late, great Molly Ivins that went into showing how even the most minor of Bush policy decisions was affecting Americans in life-and-death ways. One that stands out in my memory is cutting funding to LIHEAP (Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program) that subsidizes heating bills in cold climates. When Bush cut that funding -- and nobody heard about it at the time because it was overshadowed by 9/11 stuff, the best camouflage the administration could ever have hoped for -- seniors literally froze to death in their apartments. Here in America. Politics is a big part of our lives -- but an era of prosperity had lulled so many Americans into thinking nothing bad could happen to them here, and into believing their government would never mistreat them. So they stopped paying attention, and the Bush administration has gotten away with murder.

Anyway, thankfully, no racial slurs or horrible comments last night. The phone bank was full, the energy was good, and many people spared a few moments to talk about their concerns -- most of which arise from the Republican candidate's nasty attack ads, which are all lies. And get ready for more of that from McCain, everybody. A month of seriously ugly Republican politics is getting underway. A McCain campaign chair in Virginia yesterday appealed to the lowest element of voters in a newspaper column in which he claimed Obama's platform includes tax-breaks to NAMBLA members (that's a pedophilic organization, if you don't know), and raising taxes for "free drugs for Obama's inner-city base." Yeah, you heard that right. The McCain campaign is now claiming Obama gives tax breaks to pedophiles and wants free drugs for his "base," who of course must all be drug addicts because they're, you know. . . black. Anyone still planning to vote for McCain, I hope you will seriously consider the character of the man you want in the White House.

We have a chance for a new era in America, a choice between: a bright, hopeful, articulate man who knows the Constitution inside and out and will fight for the middle class and work hard to bring home our troops and restore America's world standing. OR a crusty, nasty old codger flinging the vilest sorts of lies around, appealing to racism in voters, muttering "Horseshit" under his breath in the debates, and probably still singing "Bomb Iran" and chuckling about it.

That's all from me for today, with this aside to Oregonians: Merkley/Smith debate Thursday at 7 pm on NBC. Cheers!

Home again

Back from California. Whew! I didn't bring the camera, but here is a photo of Emily with one of the aforementioned tarantulas that she is clearly not afraid of. I've got a new nickname for her: because of the snake brain thing in the last post, it's Dr. Death. One of her grad students caught 8 rattlesnakes this weekend and the poor things were all bound for the lab to have their brains removed. Not that I have a great love in my heart for venomous snakes, but it just seemed a little depressing to me that these 8 snakes, going about their day, were suddenly about to lose their brains. I know it's for science, and it's really interesting research they're doing, but kind of sad anyway. Can't help but think what Magpie Windwitch would think! Heartless mannies!

Anyway, gorgeous weekend in California while it rained here in Oregon. Did a little wine tasting in Paso Robles, cruised over to Morro Bay for the Harbor Festival where my mom and sister and I got Obama temporary tattoos on our cheeks. Ate some saltwater taffy, of course. I can't go to the beach without getting taffy! I read another Cybils nominee on the plane home, but wasn't wild enough about it to write about it here.

I'm not a book reviewer. I've realized what I am is a book recommender. I think it was Sarah Stevenson who made that distinction at the blog conference. Totally me. I only want to mention a book if I loved it; I'm not comfortable being critical or even "meh" about another author's very hard work. So, I'm on to the next one! That, and I have a lot of my own work to do, like get the last few details of Silksinger sorted out and sent back to my editor, not to mention phone-banking tonight (hoping not to have any repeats of last week), plus my mother-in-law is coming to visit in a few days, my roots need to be empinked, and I'm giving a presentation at the Oregon/Washington joint school librarian's conference on Friday. Totally looking forward to that: I [heart] librarians! Oh yeah, and I have a new line of Laini's Ladies to design, and there's the new book that won't write itself. Sigh. Can someone please freeze time?

Please?

Oh, from Emily, another cool/icky photo, depending on your personal interests. A scorpion giving its babies a ride:

Tarantula Xing

If you're arachnophobic, like my mom, sorry for the photo. But where I am right now, in Santa Margarita, California, the tarantulas are migrating. No joke! My mom and I are down here visiting my sister, and as we drove out to her house in one of the remote golden canyons they have around here, Emily stopped the car so I could get out and look at a tarantula crossing the road. It wasn't like a stampede or anything, but still! Of course, I left it where it was, but my crazy sister, apparently, sometimes catches them. And not only that. Get this: she was driving home the other day and saw some tarantulas, so she decided to catch one for an invertebrate zoology professor at the university (where Emily is a biology professor). But she didn't have any kind of receptacle in the car, so she just thought -- and who wouldn't, really -- that she would just hold it in her lap while she drove home. ACK!!! But it turned out to be a feisty spider, so she reevaluated her plan and found a large manila envelope in the trunk, and tried to catch the tarantula in it. Apparently the spider was too big to fit easily in a large manila envelope, so she had to tear it lengthwise to make the opening bigger. Again: ACK!!! But she got it, and put it on the passenger seat, and was driving merrily home when it escaped in the car and was climbing around.

Help, I'm feeling woozy. Okay, not really. But can you imagine? Of course, this is the same sister who drove to grad school with a pillowcase full of snakes on the passenger seat of her U-Haul, so there's no accounting for hobbies! (Snakes aren't a hobby to her, though; as I've mentioned before, she studies rattlesnakes. Now, along with a friend, she is studying their brains. When she told the woman at the local native-plants nursery yesterday to call her if they had any rattlesnakes they needed caught, the woman was a little hesitant, imagining Emily catching the snakes only to cut out their brains.)

Okay, enough tarantulas and snake brains! There are also quails bobbing all over the place out here, and coyotes yipping in the night, deer, owls, and many more critters. Beautiful. It's kind of strange being out in the country. I'm not used to the silence. Yesterday someone identified hummingbird "song" for the first time ever to me -- I never knew that sound came from hummingbirds! I didn't know they made sounds! I feel like the "town mouse" right now. All I need is to get chased by a mountain lion, tee hee. (Last summer when we were here -- well, north of here in Paso Robles -- we did see a mountain lion!!!)

Oh, by the way, on Thursday, I got to see 2/3 of the Disco Mermaids for coffee in San Luis Obispo -- hi Jay & Eve! Always so cool to see them. And we met up in Linnea's Cafe, which I think Jay told me once was the inspiration for the cafe in his book Thirteen Reasons Why.

Anyway, I didn't mean to leave that last post up so long, but there's no internet access out in the canyons, so I'm at a cafe now. Thank you to everyone who left comments in the past few days -- I agree with the general hopefulness of how each generation has become less racist, less intolerant. It IS reason for hope; I just want it all to go away NOW. And in a way, even more baffling than the awful people like the woman (yes, it was a woman -- funny some people assumed it was a man) who used the "n" word, are the polite, reasonable-sounding people who are voting for McCain. WHY? Whywhywhywhy??? It can't be that anyone is still buying into his "maverick" b.s. I can't stand to look at or listen to him, and the thought that he could be president. . . For the past 8 years, we've been stuck with this evil, vile, stupid, nasty bastard of a Bush, and now we have a chance to have not just a president with a good heart who cares about real people, but who is intelligent -- VERY intelligent -- and people want to listen to McCain and Palin for the next 4 years? I will have to go on radio and TV blackout if they win. I can't even stand to think about it. So I won't.

Instead, I will say: I brought The Hunger Games, one of the CYBILS nominees, on the plane with me, and it was the perfect travel book, one of those books that makes you wish your annoying layover was even longer. It's "sci-fi" in the sense of being set in a vaguely described future, in a society set up in the Rocky Mountains region after human civilization as we know it is no longer even a memory -- there's just one brief mention of the conintents having shrunk due to devastating storms and flooding, just enough hints to suggest that the time is long after the global warming apocalypse that we are currently setting our world up for. Anyway, it's the story of Katniss, a girl who's grown up in hard times in District 12, the mining district and one of the poorest of the 12 districts controlled with an iron fist by "The Capital." One of the tools The Capital uses to keep the districts in line is "the Hunger Games," an awful sort of "Running Man" reality-TV-taken-to-the-extreme competition held every year. Two teens from each district are chosen by lottery to compete to the death, and this year, it isn't Katniss's number that comes up, but the number of the only person she loves: her fragile younger sister. So before she even knows she's doing it, she volunteers to take her place.

That all happens within a few pages, and the book rockets forward toward, never a lull, into the horrific experience of the games. It's a terrific read up to the very last page, where I was left frustrated by the abrupt ending and the words "End of Book I" -- because there had previously been no hint that this was a "book I." So, Suzanne Collins, I ask that you please hurry with book 2. (Though who am I to ask, seeing as how two years will have elapsed between Blackbringer and Silksinger?)

Happy weekend to all. Let me know if you want me to catch you a tarantula while I'm here. NOT!

A discouraging evening of phone-banking

Yesterday, two hours into phone-banking for our Senate candidate, I got a response that really shook me up. I don't really know why it did -- awful as it was, it wasn't anything I didn't know people were saying. I think I may be hormonal; I'm ordinarily not very "flappable" but I was "flapped." At first, shocked. I couldn't even see the phone as I groped to hit the # key to disconnect the call. Then I couldn't breathe. Then tears came to my eyes (and GOD, they are again, just thinking about it), and I'm sure I got really really red, and Jim and the other volunteer next to him were terribly concerned and I couldn't even say what had happened at first.

I hate to say it, but probably most Obama volunteers have had to hear it, and have confronted this ugliness in a way that most of us are sheltered from in our daily lives.

We had a new script last night -- this one mentioned Obama's name in conjunction with our candidate, Jeff Merkley, to combine the two names in voters' minds. So, this was the first time I've made calls specifically mentioning Obama. I got one "No WAY!" as soon as I mentioned his name, and I got more Republicans last night than Democrats, but a fair number of them were polite and just said nicely that they were voting for McCain. Fine. Thank you, have a nice evening. But the call that turned out to be my last call of the night (I wimped out after, I hate to say it), the response was, "I wouldn't vote for that [worst racial slur] if my life depended on it."

Again, I know there are these people. We have had a rift in my own family, in fact. This election has revealed racism we never knew about. My mother has gotten the ugliest email forwards from redneck cousins, and she has stopped talking to the brother-in-law who is like a brother to her -- who she has known for almost sixty years without ever knowing he was a racist. And not only is he, but he isn't ashamed of it. Not one of those who gives some other reason for not voting for Obama, but admits it's because he could never vote for a black man. (A Democrat, he was for Hillary.) And this uncle, he is a sweet man who has always been really good to my siblings and me. How can this be? And, is he "out of our family" now? My aunt, my mother's sister, is no longer living -- we have no blood tie. If it's "just politics" you can agree to disagree with a loved one, but what if it's racism? That's not politics, that's character. That's heart and soul.

The idea that racism can find a nest in someone you truly believed to be a thoughtful, loving person. . . it's very upsetting. You may tell me I'm being very naive about racism, that lots of racists love their families and are good people in other areas of their lives, but the thing is, my uncle wasn't raised racist. His own parents and siblings aren't racists. So, how can you explain it, that hate can find its way in to someone's heart like that? And sure, I am naive, because I've lived a long time in small West-coast progressive cities: Berkeley and Portland. You don't hear the "n" word here! Last night was, I think, the first time I've heard it in that direct of a way, not on TV or in a movie, and not in Huckleberry Finn. And, it kind of bowled me over.

I heard other unpleasant things last night, too, but they were mostly just stupid, like the guy who was voting for Palin because he "digs that hot librarian look" -- and I could only reply, "That's very nice, Sir, but I'm inquiring about the Oregon Senate race." And I had a woman tell me with a shaking voice that our candidate "should be in jail" but when I asked "Why?" deeply curious what on Earth she could be referring to, she only muttered, "For crimes against the people!" and slammed the phone down. (Ah, unspecified "crimes against the people." I have some ideas about who we might jail for that!) And I had some toolbag who was effing with me, saying things like, "Huh, I haven't heard of any of those candidates," (including Obama) and "What did you say your last name was?" And then, at last, as my love of the human race was at a low ebb, came the biggie.

Ugh.

The polls today make me feel a little better. I don't know their accuracy, but some polls are showing Obama opening up leads in Florida and Ohio (!!!!!!), in addition to gains already made in Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Michigan. I have hope, but I also have these ignorant, hateful voices ringing in my head. One thing is clear: we really, really need Democrats to run this country for a while and prioritize EDUCATION. It is only through education that we can ever hope to see the last of racism and homophobia and religious intolerance, and the mind-boggling disregard for environmental concerns, and so much more. It is only through education we can have voters who can think and won't fall for the most blatant and misleading campaign bullsh** that is foisted on them. We can't let up. We have to win this election.

Have you done anything? Can you do anything? Volunteer to drive voters to the polls on election day? Take a few days to register voters before it's too late? Phone-bank? Contribute money? Something? If we end up with Republicans for another four years -- and not just any Repubicans, but the lying, sneering pair before us who are frothing at the mouth to take away more civil rights and go to war against Iran and -- to listen to Palin -- Russia too -- I honestly don't know how I will bear it.

Help!